Good and bad ebbs and flows .. more positive than negative, but at times the degrees of change and speed can be startling, unless you have this mindset.
Change is not negative
First let’s embrace the truth and reality, change is the constant in our world. To seek to eliminate change in our life is to cease living. It is counter to the natural biology of our mind, body, and planet. Our environment is literally shifting under our feet. Your body is replacing ALL of the cells all of the time — literally, you are an entirely new person.
As we experience, live, and learn, we become a new person in spirit and knowledge. New skills. New perspective. We are the accumulation of our days.
Change therefore is not necessarily negative, but inevitable.
More positive than negative
The truth is you have more positive happening than not. Your struggles today may be intense, traumatic, sad, and horrible. They are also temporary. You will see different days and different experiences, and yes .. positive ones.
If you think about it, if you we did not have more positive than negative, we’d likely not be alive. Positives in YOUR life are better than many others, so let’s see how you are seeing immense fortune in this life:
- Your body is winning hundreds if not thousands of possible infections and disease off daily
- Your mind is adding new knowledge and experiences to your “self”
- In the dice rolling of accidents, disasters, and misfortune .. you have avoided them and their terminal impacts thus far
- You ate food in the last day or two (others haven’t)
- Your body added new muscle, veins, and improved how it handles oxygen and food — and so you are healthier and will live a longer better life
2 Kings of Change: truly negative & disruptive
In life we experience a lot of changes from the status quo. In each direction. We can have a family member die (a terrible change), a team member wish to leave us, a life threatening disease, or simply being fired from our job (a disruptive change).
So yes, these negatives exist. I know that losing a spouse, child, or parent is definitely a terrible negative … so let’s focus on the other disruptive changes.
Disruptive isn’t negative
In some cases, a change is “negative” because it interrupts YOUR life. It is not that the change harms you, but that it requires your attention. This is a perception and mindset consideration, as it is something you can control. How you frame it will define your attitude, stress levels, and your creative ability to engage in the moment.
Let’s break this down..
If your team member is changing their life and that means you need to hire someone new, that is an inconvenience. It is NOT negative, from their perspective they are embarking on their next chapter and excited about the potential. You can choose to support them on their journey, while working with them to make this change a success for both. How I employed this mindset in my own situation with a crucial team member leaving with 2 week notice:
- Support the change 100% and honestly convey that feeling
- Create a plan for the change — when will this occur and break down the remaining weeks together
- Succession planning — find how this person can put down exactly what they are doing, how, and then work with them to share their methods with you + team
- Ask their help to fill the role — have they built someone up to replace them, or do they feel you need to find an external hire
- Have him/her hire the next person — They know best what will work, have them lead it and then you pick from their top recommendations
- Help them succeed in their next role — what can you do to help THEM in their new home? Contacts, emotional support?
Mindset to thrive amidst change
To succeed and grow in the world full of change, you must rewire your mind to see change as an opportunity, but maybe not your selfish opportunity. The disruptive and positive (nobody seems to complain about these) changes demand your attention and this active effort is where you can see resulting benefits. The active effort will bring out new ideas, efficiencies, and perhaps a smoother transition!
Choose this mindset: Embrace empathy for those amidst the change and see how you can view their perspective amidst your own.
Empathy is your super power here, it’ll guide you in these hard events
I struggle here, but have had the privilege to work with some amazing folks across my life. I have been saddened by every transition but have also met and grown as a result of these changes. More so, I have seen these people come back in my life at some point and the ties we established remained as hot and authentic as they were the day we worked together. More so, in some cases, because we walked through this challenge at the end (changing of roles).
Do the right thing, support, and help them become their best self. Together you’ll both make sure you each can celebrate your next chapters.
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I am a father, study of human behavior, strategist, cybersecurity veteran, and a coach and mentor on a journey to give more than I receive everyday. I lead teams globally, build products, and daily an executive for a leading company where I serve the largest companies in the world using the largest cloud deployments in the world impacting the financial services, healthcare, and fintech industries. I provide these publications and content through my media agency to deliver insights and advantages. Mindset, mental strength, mentorship, personal improvement, health, fitness, and humanist ideas are drawn from personal research and practice. Everything read and heard is my original works and my own perspective. All rights reserved for noted authors and sources. I produce research and strategy, as well as provide advisory services that include inquiries, briefings, consulting projects, and presentations on published findings as well as bespoke speaking engagements where I often keynote at conferences, seminars, and roundtables annually.