What happens when you work with great people, who you care about, and who are A players that begin to peak in your organization. Well, they begin to grow out of that role. They begin to explore other activities. They begin to move on..
Does that mean you have done anything wrong. No, instead it means you have done just the opposite. The point of any parent, leader, mentor, or coach is, for their charges to grow and move on to live their own life. One that reflects the accumulation of your gifts and their own love. For them to seek their own challenges and chase their own dreams.
It is not for us to prevent, but instead to encourage and empower them on their choice. It hurts and change creates a need to rebuild, but that is just the beginning. The beginning for both of you.
It is not hard to lose someone
It isn’t. You can be terribly hurt and sad, but that is how you feel at this moment in the raw reveal of them announcing their decision.
When we step back from the disruptions that will occur from their departure, the necessity to fill their role, and beyond the tactical details we see that it isn’t hard or bad, but the opposite.
If you have built them up, respected them, and given them your best — you won’t ever lose them, really. They are now an extension of your view of the world — set free to engage beyond your reach. Think about that …
Here is someone you value. You have worked, most likely, tightly together on challenging moments. You have shared ideas, fears, and visions for what the world can become together. More so than that …
- You have shared your mindset
- You have trained them on your methods and practices
- You have given your time and they to you
- Both of you .. have rubbed off on each other
- Kindness, principles, belief systems, and more are all shared and the best parts are mimicked.
Imagine what is next
Do not hesitate and be remorseful for the past. Imagine the potential of the future. For your colleague that is moving on, and all the impact they will have carrying forward your now merged beliefs. For you, well, imagine what is possible to happen next!
You are welcoming a new person in your world. You are creating deeper opportunities for connection with existing team members. Either a new face or an existing team member will restart the cycle of learning and growth. The future can be 10x better. You just need to welcome others as you congratulate your friend moving on in their life.
This is terribly hard. When you fight side by side with someone, you selfishly wish to continue forever. There is trust, caring, and respect. Three attributes that take time to build.
The good news — if you have been fair and good to others as they leave, their imprint on your organization will help Trust, Caring, and Respect to be the default. An attribute that new comers will see as the standard, and that only those who disprove these habits will be treated differently.
For me, I live through this difficulty. Both as the one leaving my colleagues and having others leave my team. Today I wish one team member not to leave, but at the same time I do.
Here is my note to you …
Number one I 1,000% support you. Will I miss you and all that follows, of course. But, that doesn’t trump my desire to help you to the moon and back, such that you are happy and have continued success. You are always part of my family and always forever will I do anything to support you.
Isn’t that what we all wish for those we care about — Happiness and continued success. Sounds about the most perfect reason to rest easy in these moments of change and transition.
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I am a father, study of human behavior, strategist, cybersecurity veteran, and a coach and mentor on a journey to give more than I receive everyday. I lead teams globally, build products, and daily an executive for a leading company where I serve the largest companies in the world using the largest cloud deployments in the world impacting the financial services, healthcare, and fintech industries. I provide these publications and content through my media agency to deliver insights and advantages. Mindset, mental strength, mentorship, personal improvement, health, fitness, and humanist ideas are drawn from personal research and practice. Everything read and heard is my original works and my own perspective. All rights reserved for noted authors and sources. I produce research and strategy, as well as provide advisory services that include inquiries, briefings, consulting projects, and presentations on published findings as well as bespoke speaking engagements where I often keynote at conferences, seminars, and roundtables annually.