What is living? Are we, am I, acting out the parts. Doing the tasks as an employee, the tasks of a father, the tasks of loving, the tasks of creating….. Or are we actually embodying and the one in it. Am I the Father or am I acting the part. Not saying the parts are bad, but there is a difference in your soul and how you engage when you are “doing a task” vs. “living the task in the moment”.
I have been studying this concept across several ancient thinkings across India, Tibet, and China. I feel there is something worth exploring. That there is something powerful that I can’t really describe or articulate, but can sense it. To be all in, completely, our entire self, in this moment is uncomfortable. To do so, we must release any safety nets and just be all in. This moment is the only time we will have it, and that impermanence is glorious and terrifying. It means what we give now won’t be forever, so we can change our mind and BE many people. Terrifyingly, we also will never get this moment back, which is why we / I find myself seeking to hold onto other personalities and truths. I am both in the moment being a Father, but equally ready to jump into a work call. That switching mentality is the problem. You / I need to give 100% of who we are in the moment, otherwise we start parsing out ourselves 5% here and 5% there, till we realize a terrible truth.
We are only WATCHING ourselves in the moment, because now we are split so far and wide. Giving us equally nothing and everything, but only at the surface.
One of my most profound glorious moments was when I was a kid in camp. There was a religious element to it, and at some point I was welcomed and accepted to be with them in belief. The power of being wholly accepted as I was and being a part of something was powerful, especially coming from a divorced home. This moment only recently was reminded during my morning breathwork. It was a profound soulful happiness I have never felt since. Unfortunately for me, at that same camp shortly after I was robbed, bullied, and had to endure fear till the end. These events quickly erased the profound joy, but it doesn’t change the lesson for me.
There is joy in being all in. There is not only hope, but opportunity to accept, embrace, and savor each moment. My example above is from a Parent and Work comparison, but I did it only to provide strict boundaries – what you do in each moment is what matters, go on and find out.