Is it your idea or the highway? I hope not, because soon you’ll be walking the highway by yourself — alone and ineffectual
I find myself in deep and passionate discussions fairly often. I prefer these in fact to the blasé discussions about weather and non-impactful topics. Personally I think we all prefer to have real conversations about things that matter to us and others.
As you bring more and more passionate humans together, something arises that must be addressed. It is that we are ALL PASSIONATE about the outcome., and in some cases HOW we achieve it differs.
That difference is where balance and empathy demand your time and study.
Not a weakness
There are many who mistook these traits as a poor leadership trait. They saw empathy and balance something for those in the arts and maybe social minded businesses. They are wrong.
Having emotional intelligence is demanded if you work with any other human. The steepness of the passion and creativity that is brought to the job is directly proportional to the empathy that is demanded.
Having empathy is a strength, the strength. If you want to have an impact, scale, and win. It is done through people who carry that passion and achieve that sought after outcome — day after day after day.
Personal and Frequent
Communication is paramount to working with passionate individuals. It is because of the magnitude of passion that we need these close touches. These aren’t long journeys together, but think of them as calibrations.
As we exhibit visceral gyrations in our emotions on topic, we can become out of sync. That rhythm is paramount to achieving with passionate folks. We NEED to be tuned. We want to be tuned — as leaders and as team members.
It is an authentic exchange of the ideas and methods. It is a restating of the goal. A emblazoning of the how and why repeated. We need to create these spaces with our people. We need to be PRESENT with them — cover the hard and the soft. Allow them to share and perhaps influence your thinking on an approach, and vice versa.
The intent here is by personal and frequent communication — in person ideally, video chat, and at the worst texting — note, email isn’t on the list. It is ineffective and won’t create the glue or rhythm necessary.
Threading the needle
As the leader or equal in a relationship, you must thread the needle of what your heart says and your partners. This means seeking to understand the other approach. In a business sense, and in many relationship areas:
- Consider how this REALLY differs from your own idea
- Does their IDEA achieve the outcome you both desire?
- If you see risks — how can you address those with your partner(s)?
- If you see the outcome not being what you envision — REVALIDATE that you agree on the outcome (is it money, joy, experience, a stepping stone to another rock)
Ultimately if your outcomes are dialed in, but there is disagreement you now must find a balance. I find the best methods is to test both. Seriously, set small iterations to trial by fire both ideas. This is especially great if they can be done in an hour to 4 hours max. This allows you to recalibrate, give each a fair shot, and allow the market/world to prove it.
Removing judgement from each other’s ideas when you truly cannot see a fault in either is a happy medium.
Sometimes though we can’t simply try every idea. Sometimes we just need to choose one.
I find this with myself personally. I see a dozen ideas and choices and ahead — I weigh them, as described above. Except there are no third parties. There is just me, my soul, my heart, and brain. The discourse and dialogue can be sometimes uncaring, but always with the right intentions. To pick the right path — but what is right?
How can you know what is the right path? The answer is, you pick one. The path you pick is the one that is right given the best information you had on hand.
Scenario 1: Take the job and quit 6 months later, sounds like a bad choice. But what if you met your soulmate there and have been married for 50 years since? Not such a mistake with the whole picture.
Scenario 2: Take the job and it is the best group you’ve ever worked for your entire life. Except …
Scenario 3: You don’t take either job and remain unhappy working a job that gives you no passion.
You see, there are always pros and cons, but the choice that is the worst is the NO CHOICE.
To achieve we must seek
Having empathy for ourselves, our partners, and teammates is paramount to achieving our life’s ambitions. It is also that balance and decisioning that ensures we carry our lives forward. By giving empathy to both ourselves and others, we set a foundation that acknowledges there is certainly right and wrong paths, but is established in a way that collaborative ideas can be brought together and forward to achieve.
Make that choice, find a rhythm, and be kind to yourself and others.
Love you all.